Friday, February 22, 2013

My biggest achievement

My biggest achievement 
Bam! I'm playing hard out right into the action packed rugby game. Boff! I pounded  a big guy in a gigantic tackle. My nose starts bleeding but  continued on the amazing game. Skadoosh! I scored a whopping try out of the blue so fast it was in like 30 seconds. The crowd is going wild over me. I felt so alive at the time.

3 comments:

  1. Wonderful strong verbs in this writing, Daniel!

    You bring the reader right into the action of the game. You should share this with Mr G!

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  2. I like the way that you get the reader involved Daniel. I like those big words too!

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  3. Exciting story Daniel, great choice of words and really enjoyed you use of feelings in your writing. i.e "I felt so alive at the time"

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